"When we face the guilt that truthfully tells us, ‘You made a mistake,’ we’re freed of shame that falsely tells us, ‘You are a mistake.’” Anonymous I don’t like feeling shame. I suppose it came from when I was a kid and got punished more harshly than was necessary when I made a mistake. I frequently heard, “Shame on you,” or “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.” It made me feel small, unworthy, less than others.
I developed an arsenal of techniques to avoid the feeling of rejection that came with shame…I would change the subject, just walk away, eat something sweet, play solitaire, hide in a book, or go over to a friend’s house. I tried never to be bad, but I was always finding myself in situations where I would do something wrong. As an adult, I began to learn the difference between guilt and shame. When I first saw the movie Anne of Green Gables, one line stood out to me. Anne said, “That’s the good thing about me, I never do the same wrong thing twice.” Anne was an orphan and was never taught how to behave. So when Matilda adopted her she was often frustrated that Anne did things wrong. But, Anne learned from her mistakes. This put mistakes into a different light for me. Anne was guilty of doing something wrong, but she had nothing to be ashamed of. She wasn’t flawed, she was learning. I would like to think that as an adult I never do things wrong any longer. But that’s just not the case. I will probably be learning until the day I die. Yet it’s a relief to release the shame and realize it’s just guilt that I’m feeling. I’m not a bad person, I'm just learning how not to do something the next time. This realization has made it easier for me to apologize when I do something wrong because it's not about me being a bad person, I just used poor judgment….I’m human. And, it helps to know others are all like me—still learning. Like Gert Behanna said in her “God Is Not Dead” message delivered to a Baptist church congregation, “God said, ‘All have sinned,’ so I presume that means all of you are sinners, too.” Are you human...still learning? Are you still relying on avoidance techniques? Is there an apology you’ve been putting off because you have mistaken guilt with shame? Now, are you ready to forgive yourself and apologize? Lord, thank You for helping me learn to apologize, and to understand that my value as a person is not diminished when I make a mistake. Amen “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24 (NIV) What are your thoughts? Libby
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WelcomeI love the wisdom of the ages gleaned from relevant quotes. In them there is a connection to the human experience that crosses all borders. Join me as I relate my personal experiences, and link the wisdom of the quote to the Source of all wisdom: God's Word, the Bible. Enjoy, Libby Categories
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