“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.” Aristotle
I remember making a pact with God, “If you would just let me be popular—another name for the kids that were accepted into one of these groups—then I’ll be careful to always make the new kids feel welcome.” My eighth grade friend? I don't remember her. But I do remember the pact I made with God. Now I try to greet the newcomer and make them feel welcome. And, it has actually helped me come out of my shell and make friends more easily. Today I have a group of good friends. We’ve all moved out of the San Francisco Bay Area over the years, but I stay in touch with each of them. They sometimes return to California on vacation, and I often plan my vacations around traveling to see them in different cities and states. Email, Facebook and video chats help, too. The children’s rhyme, also referred to as The Golden Rule: “Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver, the other’s gold,” has proven to be true in my life. My loyal friends (I prefer ‘loyal’ to ‘old’), including their spouses and kids, are a treasure, and I hope to keep in touch with each of them for years to come. But it’s my new friends that sustain me through life’s routine events and meet my needs for daily connection and belonging.
Do you sometimes feel outside the ‘popular’ crowd? Have you ever considered befriending the new person? Who will you reach out to today to begin the journey toward friendship? Lord, thank You for the pact years ago, where You used me to help others get connected. Continue to teach me how to be a loyal friend. Amen “Do not forsake your friend…and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” Proverb 27:10 What are your thoughts? Libby Note: Aristotle (384-322 BC), an ancient Greek philosopher and scientist, orphaned as a child, at seventeen joined Plato’s Academy in Athens; his writings cover many subjects including physics, biology, logic, ethics, poetry, theater, music, and government; and constitute the first comprehensive system of Western Philosophy.
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“Sometimes you have to play a long time to play like yourself.” Miles Davis
But even ‘the worst thing I did as a novice writer’ turned out to be a pivotal step in my learning curve. It caused me to take a step back and stop reacting to every suggestion, critique and opinion. After a while my writing began to reflect a few selective critique suggestions and one writing technique that best fit my style. And, as a result, my writing improved…or, so said my critique partners.
“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet, to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” Hebrews 12:11 What are your thoughts? Libby
“The first point of courtesy must always be truth.” Ralph Waldo Emerson“How long have you been divorced?” he asked. A typical question among single-again adults when they are getting to know each other. But I knew enough not to give a straight answer, all I said was, “A long time.” I had learned it’s not uncommon for people to judge you based on your answer—too short and you might have un-resolved issues; too long and you might still have un-resolved issues. After several dates I was thinking about honesty. When do you begin being fully honest?...when you get engaged?...on your wedding night? I went to the phone and called. It was going to be a risk to be fully honest, I knew, but if he wasn’t ready for full disclosure then maybe we weren’t ready to go to the next level in our relationship. It really wasn’t so hard to say, “I’d prefer we build our relationship on an honest foundation. I’d like to answer that question…” Somewhat surprisingly, he didn’t judge me, either on the number of years since my divorce, or the fact that I had been hiding it until now. And, as it turned out, we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. I learned that day it’s never too late to build a foundation of honesty in any friendship. It not only shows courtesy and trust, but also is an investment in a relationship’s future. Sadly, I’ve also learned that the converse is true, too: a break in honesty is the first crack that compromises the integrity of any relationship, which slowly erodes its foundation. Do you have a friendship that you would like to take to the next level? Have you invested yourself yet in full disclosure with that person? What will you do today to take a step in that direction? Lord, thank You for leading me to full disclosure, full honesty, despite the risk of rejection. Amen “Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.” Proverbs 19:1 What are your thoughts? Libby Note: Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), American essayist, lecturer, and poet who led the transcendentalist movement in the mid-19th century. Most of his essays began as lectures he delivered across the US. He remains a linchpin of the American Romantic Movement and his work has influenced the thinkers, writers, and poets that came after him.
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Ruth Bell Graham“But how do you deal with his anger?” a church friend asked referring to my husband. She also knew my husbands’ prior wife and most certainly listened to her complaints during their breakup and divorce. “I call him on it,” I replied, “I tell him his tone is unreasonable and that I’m his partner, not his employee.”
It’s going to take much more than promises this time Only God can change our minds Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete Could we just be broken together If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine Could healing still be spoken and save us The only way we’ll last forever is broken together I pointed out to my friend that I’m not without my issues, too. It can be hard to live with me at times. Yet, despite our brokenness we can still find happiness, even bliss, by forgiving with kindness, listening with understanding and loving without conditions. For me, I’ve learned that loving is a risk. I had to first become vulnerable and love unconditionally before I could be open enough to receive love in return. My experience has taught me to first love and be lovable, then if the love is returned, it will be the most rewarding love…peace, joy, contentment.
Note: Ruth Bell Graham (1920-2007), an American poet, author, painter, philanthropist, and wife of the famous evangelist Bill Graham. She was born in China to medical missionary parents, and educated in Korea and the US. She founded the Ruth and Billy Graham Children’s Health Center in Asheville, North Carolina. By her encouragement Billy Graham took his evangelism tour to China, and Ruth accompanied him on various trips throughout Asia, earning them both the Congressional Medal of Honor in 1996.
“When ‘I’ is replaced by ‘we,’ even ‘illness’ becomes ‘wellness.’” Kate ArianWe sat there listening to our manager go on and on about how mean we had been to a co-worker. His first mistake was to listen to Suzie’s complaint and not ask for input from the rest of the team. Others on the team had valid complaints. I was not affected by the tension in the office myself, but I had seen it going on all around me. When he finished accusing us of being cruel, some were even more hurt than before. So I spoke up and shared how I had tried to help Suzie, sharing with our manager how I had explained to her what she was doing that so upset the others on the team. Suzie was the liaison to headquarters, often on conference calls while others listened. When she spoke of things our team had accomplished, she said “I did…” or “I discovered…” or “I finished…” In our talk we worked out a hand signal that I would do to alert her when she was in “I” mode and suggest she change to “we” mode. It helped her see how frequently she was using “I” when it was in fact the whole team doing the work.
Later, as a project manager, I applied what I had learned and made a habit of using “we” for accomplishments and “I” when reporting a problem, a budget overrun, or a missed deadline. As a result our team was blessed with loyal and productive team members, with good working relationships. Are there times when you feel put out that someone is taking credit for what you’ve accomplished? Have you ever referred to other’s accomplishments using “I” in place of “we”? How will you set up an alert to remind yourself to be careful to give credit where credit is due? Lord, thank You for teaching me to use “we” in place of “I” early in my career, so other teams would benefit in later years. Amen
“So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb. The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first…” John 20:3-4 (John referred to himself as ‘the other disciple.’) What are your thoughts? Libby Note: Kate Arian, a lung transplant recipient at age 22, founded Manicare, an organization that goes to patients in the hospital, care center, or homes to lift their spirits by giving manicures and pedicures. In addition, 10% of their proceeds are donated to organizations that help children and seniors. |
WelcomeI love the wisdom of the ages gleaned from relevant quotes. In them there is a connection to the human experience that crosses all borders. Join me as I relate my personal experiences, and link the wisdom of the quote to the Source of all wisdom: God's Word, the Bible. Enjoy, Libby Categories
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