"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief." William Shakespeare, OthelloWhen I was in grammar school a girl challenged me to a fight after school. I don't remember why we were enemies, or even that we were enemies. I just know that she was popular among her friends and I was new to this school. Of course, she beat me up and I went home feeling defeated and in tears. She succeed in dominating me. I was only ten years old, but I still remember her name and how I felt.
The bully loves to tease those who appear to be weaker, more vulnerable, and the least likely to fight back. The bully is really the coward; otherwise they would go after someone more their equal, whether that be size, strength, or assertiveness. When I was young there wasn't the zero tolerance of bullying that there is in schools today. My parents tried to comfort me by saying, "She's just jealous of you." They suggested I ignore her, that she is only trying to get me to react with fear to make herself feel more important, more powerful. I believe the part about her trying to look bigger, more powerful at my expense...that's exactly what happened. I got the reputation of wimp and she retained her dominance. But there are still bullies in my life today. They may mask their overt bullying by hiding it in sarcasm or by intentionally rejoicing about their good fortune just when I have failed to achieve my goal. But today I have learned how to respond and that my identity is not based on their opinion of me. So if I let their comments (whether sarcasm or boasting) fall on deaf ears and don't give them the satisfaction they're after, they will eventually lose interest in me. But I find it's important to be clear about the difference between deflecting the bully away from me, and forgiving. Ignoring someone's comments so they cannot hurt me, is very different from forgiving someone who has hurt me. There is always a time to forgive. The purpose of my strategy is to free me from being under the bully's influence. Is there someone in your life that has adopted one of these socially acceptable (sarcasm or boasting) ways of bullying you? How will you handle it differently next time? Lord, remind me again how my identity rests in who You say I am and not in someone who - for whatever reason - wants to make me think I'm a loser. Thank you Jesus that you love me, just as I am. Amen "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:27-28, 31 What are your thoughts? Libby Note: William Shakespeare (1564-1616) was an English poet, playwright and actor, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and world's pre-eminent dramatist; often called the "Bard of Avon." PS Happy Birthday Shakespeare.
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WelcomeI love the wisdom of the ages gleaned from relevant quotes. In them there is a connection to the human experience that crosses all borders. Join me as I relate my personal experiences, and link the wisdom of the quote to the Source of all wisdom: God's Word, the Bible. Enjoy, Libby Categories
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