"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor RooseveltI was in a situation once where I entered a restaurant late to join a group of people for a business dinner. In an unusually loud voice a person insulted me comparing me to a fruit. Her words could be heard by far more than just the people at our table.
The restaurant became quiet. I turned to speak to someone else. Eventually the conversations continued, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she had bet someone that she could make me leave the restaurant, or at least excuse myself for a minute. I didn’t give her the satisfaction of scaring me away. Although it was hurtful and the comment stung a bit, I knew her insult was totally unfounded. By ignoring her comment it made her look foolish, not only to the people at our table but to others in the restaurant. It reminded me of a line in an old movie--Heaven Can Wait (1978)—which impressed me so much I still remember it today. It simple said, “You don’t know me well enough to hurt me.” Whether an obscure fruit-related insult or a more pointed untruth intended to hurt or embarrass, when the person insulting you does not know you well it can only be manufactured. Even if the person is a colleague or is loosely connected by mutual friends, that doesn’t necessarily mean they know you well. I drew on the quote from the movie to withstand the insult that night in the restaurant. And, like the character in the movie, I was able to appear the stronger one...the more self-confident one, the less embarrassed one. Eleanor Roosevelt hit the nail on the head. We have a choice. We can allow a loan comment spoken in anger to hurt us. Or, we can discount the nature of the comment and the one who spoke it, and not allow it to affect our reaction, our confidence, or our self-esteem. Inferiority is an unusual thing. It is not something that can be defined by your score on a test, level of experience, seniority, nationality, credential, or any other arbitrary measure. Much like beauty is in the eye of the beholder; inferiority is in the eye of the beholder. What I learned through all this was, the person that wanted to label me inferior was showing her own lack of respect, her own insecurity. Roosevelt’s advice to someone in this situation is perfect—don’t give them any control over you. You are the only one that can determine who can hurt you. Have you ever been unjustly embarrassed in public by someone intentionally attempting to hurt you? Was it untrue, or not completely accurate? Next time consider how you will respond, a hurtful response or trying to defend ourselves may have the reverse effect. Remember, only a guilty person needs to defend themselves. Lord, give me strength to not be overcome by hurtful comments, but to remember who You say I am. Amen “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things…and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8,9b What are your thoughts? Libby Note: Elanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), was an American politician, diplomat and human rights activist, also known for holding the post as First Lady for her husband's--Franklin D. Roosevelt--from 1933 to 1945. She also held posts for Truman and Kennedy, including Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly.
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WelcomeI love the wisdom of the ages gleaned from relevant quotes. In them there is a connection to the human experience that crosses all borders. Join me as I relate my personal experiences, and link the wisdom of the quote to the Source of all wisdom: God's Word, the Bible. Enjoy, Libby Categories
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